Stuck in a Moment
by Sempai Sunny
Summary: ¡Spoiler Alert! Wolfie and Milly open their eyes! PG-13 because of the imminent spoiler and some kissy scenes. R&R! My first fic!


Stupid Mandatory Disclaimer That Is Keeping Me Out Of Prison: I do not own Trigun, it's characters, or anything associated with it. I also do not own "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of" which is property of U2 or "The Outsiders", a movie/book that I stole a quote from.  
  
Also, give me some grief, as this is my first Trigun fic (second one ever, if you can believe it) and I just had to do Milly and good old Wolfie. I also apologize for the big bad evil spoilers for episode twenty-three. (You know, people might get the gist of that episode just from reading summaries) POV switches every time there is a song break, until after said spoiler and then it's all Milly. Song lyrics indicated by asteriks (*)  
  
Stuck In A Moment  
  
I watched her, the sun set off her shadow. Milly, my "Big Girl," smiling away in the way that made her uncommonly beautiful.  
  
*I'm not afraid of anything in this world  
  
There's nothing you can throw at me  
  
That I haven't already heard*  
  
My dear Nicholas. I loved him with my whole heart, more than anyone else in my whole life, even more than I loved pudding or Meryl or anything. I drew a heart in the sand and filled our initials in it. Before I could smother it, the wind blew it away, almost ominously. Was something going to happen?  
  
*I'm just trying to find  
  
A decent melody  
  
A song that I can sing  
  
In my own company*  
  
I sat down beside her. "Hey Big Girl. Whacha doing?" Her huge blue eyes grabbed my own hiding beneath the sunglasses.  
  
"Oh, just thinking, Mr. Wolfwood."  
  
I smiled back at her, then revealed the pudding that I had been hiding behind my back. She squealed in delight and hugged me. I handed her a spoon and she delicately scooped part of it into her mouth, instead of her usual stuffing. "Would you like some, Mr. Wolfwood?" she asked me. I shook my head. I just wanted to sit here and watch her eat. The memory of our first meeting came into my mind, being rescued, me guzzling down all of Vash's water, saving that little girl, Helen, and falling asleep on Milly's shoulder. I guess I'd liked her since the second I saw her.  
  
*You've got to get yourself together  
  
You've got stuck in a moment  
  
And now you can't get out of it  
  
Don't say that later will be better  
  
Now you're got stuck in a moment  
  
And you can't get out of it*  
  
The last creamy bits of the pudding slid down my throat as I looked at him. Cautiously, I pulled his sunglasses away from his face. His eyes were kind and sad. Suddenly, I felt compelled to kiss the face I loved. In one swift move, my lips met his and backed off. To my astonishment, he wasn't surprised.  
  
"M-M-Milly," he stammered. I blinked. I don't think he'd ever called me that. "I-I,uh, I love you," The words came out in a rush. I could feel a smile spread across my face. "I love you too, Nicholas," I told him with assurance. He leaned into me and kissed me again.  
  
*I will not forsake  
  
The colors that you bring  
  
The nights you filled with fireworks  
  
They left you with nothing  
  
I am still enchanted  
  
By the light you brought to me  
  
I listen through your ears  
  
And through your eyes I can see*  
  
I didn't want to make a move on her, not just yet. I knew she would have consented, but I wanted it to be perfect. For now, I was content just to kiss her. Her mouth opened slightly and I slid my tongue in and touched hers. Her hands fit perfectly around my neck, and I held her close with my arms about her waist. I know both Meryl and Vash saw us kissing, but it wasn't like Milly and I were clueless about what was going on between them. I'd heard them at night, kissing and sneaking away to some nearby bluff. My priest instincts made me want to lecture at least one of them, but now, embracing my own love, I understood it entirely. "Stay gold, Milly, stay gold." I whisper in her ear.  
  
*You are such a fool  
  
To worry like you do  
  
I know it's tough  
  
And you can never get enough  
  
Of what you don't really need now*  
  
After one last kiss, he told me to wait for him to come back. I nodded, listening to the gunshots. I recognized those of the Cross Punisher, wincing every time one other than it broke the silence.  
  
I must have fallen asleep, but when I woke up, the first thing in my mind was how the wind has blown my dust heart away. "Nicholas," I gasped. I ran out of the room, bumping right into Mr. Vash. His eyes were red. Meryl slid out from behind him, and her eyes weren't precisely dry either. She took my hand and led me back to the room.  
  
I admire Meryl. She had to comfort both me and Mr. Vash, not letting us drink ourselves into oblivion. She told me what had happened, how Mr. Vash found Nicholas in his church, dead, how it was ordered by his twin brother, Mr. Knives Millions. She stayed up all night consoling us. I woke from the same dream too many times that night. Nicholas was kissing me the way he did last night, and then the wind blew him away, just like the heart in the dust the night before.  
  
*You've got to get yourself together  
  
You've got stuck in a moment  
  
And now you can't get out of it  
  
Oh love, look at you now  
  
You've got yourself stuck in a moment  
  
And you can't get out of it*  
  
I sat up the next night, listening to Meryl talk to Mr. Vash. She really does love him, the same way I loved Nicholas. And Mr. Vash loved Nicholas like he was his brother. I tried to talk to Nicholas, but the only voice I could hear in my head was mine. He wasn't responding to me. Not only that, but the Cross Punisher was gone. The only thing I had left of him was one of his cross cuff links, which had fallen off his jacket that night. I had picked it up and promised him I would sew it back on the next day. Since I couldn't do that now, I slid the link onto the cuff of my own shirt, holding it tight. I would keep my little piece of Nicholas with me always.  
  
*I'm unconscious, half asleep  
  
The water is warm 'till you discover how deep  
  
I wasn't jumping in, for me it was all a fall  
  
It's a long way down to nothing at all  
  
You've got to get yourself together  
  
You've got stuck in a moment  
  
And now you can't get out of it  
  
Don't say that later will be better  
  
You've got stuck in a moment  
  
And you can't get out of it*  
  
A few nights later I was finally able to sleep soundly again. I had a dream from heaven, though it woke me with tears. Nicholas was sitting on the bed beside me, telling me he loved me, how beautiful I was, and we were looking down at a baby that looked just like him, except that it was a girl. "We'll name her Mireille, sort of a mix of Milly and Nicole, don't you think?"  
  
I did wake up with tears in my eyes, knowing that Nicholas was never going to have that daughter, and neither was I.  
  
~~~~Ten Years in the Future~~~~  
  
Mr. Vash had to kill his brother, even though it hurt him to do it. He had promised Rem never to take a life, even though he also did kill Legato. I have been burdened every day with wonders of what might have happened if I had gone out into the street.  
  
Mr. Vash has only shot a gun once since Knives died. It was a few days ago. Meryl also shot off all her Derringers. It was twenty-one shots in total. I had realized that it was a sort of twenty-one gun salute to Nicholas. It had been ten years to the day since he died.  
  
We're a hundred iles outside of December. "You take kids that far out into the boonies?" I giggle at the memory of Mr. Vash saying that to Nicholas when he explained about the orphanage. It's not bad here.  
  
The memory of my dear Nicholas is with me every day, those kisses, including his final bittersweet one before he made me promise to wait for him. I've been waiting. For the last ten years.  
  
A wail of a baby reaches me. Meryl and Mr. Vash come in from the desert, a squalling child in Meryl's arms. I run up to them. The baby has the same black hair as my Nicholas, and blue eyes to match mine.  
  
"Strange how a baby appears out of nowhere in the desert, and bears a resemblance to you and Wolfwood," Mr. Vash tells me.  
  
"She has no family, I'm guessing, because we waited with her for hours and no one showed up. I wonder where she came from," Meryl puzzles, passing me the tiny girl.  
  
"Maybe Nicholas sent her from heaven, a bit of himself to be with us," I suggest, suddenly remembering the dream from all those years ago. Suddenly, I whisper, "It's ok, Mireille, hush honey." The infant stopscrying as I keep whispering the name.  
  
My Nicholas visits my dreams that night. He kisses me and calls me "Big Girl" again. He tells me how Mireille got to live in heaven with her daddy for a long time and now she gets to live with her mother. He also tells me he sent me the dream when she was born, to tell me that we would have a child. He also told me to tell Mr. Vash that "It must have been God, it's the only explanation," and that Mr. Vash would understand. He kissed me again as the wind blows him away. This time, I do not wake up crying.  
  
Instead, I walk down the hall to where Mireille and all the other babies are sleeping. She seems to be sleeping in a glow, a beam from heaven, where Nicholas is watching her and keeping her safe. I feel he is watching me, too.  
  
*And if the night runs over  
  
And if the day won't last  
  
And if your way should falter  
  
Along this stony path  
  
It's just a moment  
  
This time will pass* 


End file.
